Andre Rieu and the JSO and their musical version of
Snow White and the seven dwarfs
                 Text by Mrs Marjorie Rieu / translation by Sonja

Many of you have seen this picture of Andre Rieu, but you may not know what
story he tells!   You may have never heard it or you may not understand
Dutch.   Here is the translation, of his version of the fairy tale of Snow White, as
he told it a few years ago.  You can hear the original story in Dutch on the single
CD the last Rose.

  With windows Media player you will be able to hear Andre tell his story.   

       Andre brings a chair on stage and starts to tell the story

If you really want to understand the following piece of music we are going to play
for you, I first have to tell you a story.   I am going to tell you a fairy tale.    Do you
like fairy tales?  Yes?

There once were a king and a queen.
(JSO: aaahhh)

They lived in a beautiful palace in a far away country.
This country was behind the seven mountains.   St Pieters Berg, the Cau Berg,
Koe Berg
(Hills in Limburg)  Bergen op Zoom and Driebergen.    (Bergen op
Zoom and Driebergen are towns in Holland, Berg means mountain in Dutch. As
you, I am sure know there are no real mountains in Holland, but anything higher
than a mole hill is called a berg)
Yes, that makes seven.

The queen's name was Diana, and for the past seven years she has been
happily married to Swiebertje.
(Swiebertje is the name of a tramp in an old (1955-
1976) TV show for children)
(JSO plays tune from show "There comes Swiebertje)

Hey, hey, hey, hey now stay with me, yes.
He was the only one allowed to call her Di , and indeed he always did just that.  
He would call her "Di, Di".   His mother also lived in the palace, you know one of
those old bitches.  Her name was't Di, Di but Taai, Taai.
(Pronounced Ti, Ti,
ouwe Taaie is dutch slang for a tough old woman)  

As I said they were very happy together, but one of their wishes had not been
fulfilled yet. They had not been blessed with a little prince or a little princess.  No
matter what they tried.  (Bouncy noises coming from the orchestra !!!!)

One evening they were sitting sociable and snug together in the downstairs
kitchen of the palace. Di had cooked a wonderful meal.   French fries and
(Balkenbrij is a dish from Eastern Holland made with bacon, liver
and buckwheat, the translation for balk is rod or beam)  
Now if there was a bad little rod in the meal is not known, but the queen did not at
all feel well after dinner and said I am going to lie down for just a little while.
And what happened?  (Bouncy noise from the JSO again!!!)

That night a little princess was born.   Yes, that is how those things happen.  But
that bad little rod must have also had its effect on that little girl, because she
always looked so pale and white that very soon she received the nick name Snow
White.  Alas, soon after her birth the queen died and she was immediately
replaced by a new stepmother.

Snow White grew up to be a beautiful young girl, really a
hot number of a princess and she was always very
successful with the princes in the neighborhood.

Her stepmother, who was ugly as sin, was green with envy.
Now that woman really was a little crazy.   She had a real
nutty streak you see, every morning she would go to the
bathroom upstairs, lock the door and then she would start
talking to the mirror.    

Every morning the same routine, "Mirror, mirror on the wall
(Of course the audience finishes the saying)
Hey, you have heard that before?  Who is the fairest of them all ?  And that mirror
who after all those years had also lost some of his marbles would yell back.  
Erwin Kroll !!!!!   
(Erwin Kroll is the best-known Dutch weatherman)

That would give that old biddy an apoplexy.   At one point she was so totally fed
up that she hired an assassin.   He had to make sure that Snow White would
disappear once and for all.  Snow White did indeed disappear at least that is
what the queen thought.  However what she did not know is that the assassin
she hired was having an affair with Snow White.  He did not kill her at all they
just  moved in together.

On Saturdays when he went out to do his assassinations, he would take her for
the weekend to the seven dwarfs. (Hei-ho, Hei-ho from the orchestra)   Andre
laughs and says “Every evening I have to deal with these people.

For a while things seem to go well, but what Snow White did not know was that
the oldest of the dwarfs was having an affair with her  stepmother, the queen.
Yes this is a very complicated story and you have to pay close attention.”

Is that the door?  “You are going to have to oil it.

Snow White opens the door friendly as always and she asks, “What can I do for
you, dear lady.  Hello beautiful girl look at what I have for you, a delicious English
filet mignon.

Anyway to make a long story short, after eating just one bite of that stuff Snow
White falls down, deader then a doornail.  (Sound of something heavy falling and
then sirens from the orchestra).  There she was fast asleep for 100 years until
she was woken up by a kiss from.....  Prince Willem Alexander
(the Dutch crown
prince) (I think he should make that Prince Andre)  

And they lived happily ever after


As far as I know this is the only place this story ever was available.  It is the single of the
Last Rose with as second song the Snow White story.  It is only available in Dutch.  
Once in a while you can find it on Ebay, but it is no longer available in the stores.

       Our crown prince Willem-Alexander,
         his lovely wife Maxima and their
          daughters,  Amalia and Alexia.
When the stepmother heard that Snow White
was still alive she was furious, she dressed up
to look like a witch. (Witch scream from the
Andre says: "you scared the living daylights out
of me".  So she dressed up like a witch and to
be honest that did not take much.  She went to
the dwarf's cabin and knocked on the door.
(Doorbell rings).  
Yes, it is a real fairy tale door. Snow White
opens the door (squeaking sound).